SPEAKING WISELY
Charles
Spurgeon, the famous British preacher, once told of when he went to a nice
restaurant for a meal. As he ate he kept noticing a rather angry looking man
across the dining room who scowled at him every time he looked his way. Finally,
Spurgeon decided to go over and speak to the man to see what his problem was.
However, as he stood he realized that what he had been seeing was his own
reflection in mirrors that line the walls across the room.
When you look in the mirror do you like
what you see?
I remember the first time I heard my
voice on a tape recorder. My friend and I were playing with voices and
recording silly stories and jokes to hear how we sounded. My voice had just
gone through the change. When I heard my voice I could not believe what I was
hearing. That was not me. But even now when I listen to the sermon CDs from
church I note how I don’t sound like I think I should.
If you were to hear a recording of
your conversation with your children or spouse or friends, would you like what
you hear? I don’t mean the sound of your voice but rather the content of your
conversation.
These days anything can be caught on
video because of the technology of cell phones. If someone were to record us
during a typical day, would we like what we see and hear?
When James wrote that anyone who
lacks wisdom should ask God, the theme did not end with trials. This chapter,
this whole book, is about seeking God’s wisdom for life, including how we live
and speak.
James does not write like Paul.
James is more subtle in his reference to Jesus for some reason, but the
implication of Christ’s Word is very strong in this letter. And what James
exhorts us to do this morning is to speak wisely. How do we do that? By humbly
listening to God’s Word with a determination to obey it.
Let’s see how this affects our
speech.
1.
A Good Code of Ethics for Speaking Wisely
I
know the code in verse 19 off by heart. That does not mean that I have
perfected it. My biggest problem is with being slow to get angry. My anger is
quick in certain situations. It’s a Klassen thing, they tell me.
On the one hand I have learned to be
slow to speak. On the other hand I have learned to have a quick tongue because
if you want to be heard you have to speak before others speak. You have to be
quick, witty, and lightning fast in thinking of a good burn. That’s how we talk
in our social circles.
James shows us that the wise
follower of Jesus does not talk like that. He offers this code of ethics for
speaking to help us better reflect Jesus and how Jesus would speak. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to
speak and slow to become angry,” (1:19).
a) Be quick to
listen
– James appears to write in a general way regarding this code. This is just
good common sense. Be quick to listen. The tone of this command is something
like, “hurry up and listen.” Or in other words, we should be eager to listen to
what others have to say.
Most of us use the time we are not
talking to load up our next fantastic earth-shattering comment. Unfortunately,
we don’t hear what the other person is saying. Often we end up repeating what
others say in a different way.
To listen is to show the same
kindness and gentleness that Jesus had in listening to his friends. This is the
fruit of the Spirit.
b) Be slow to
speak
– The word “speak” here has the same root that means “to chatter” or “to
chirp.” That sound when everyone in a large room is speaking is like the
chirping of thousands of birds.
One evening in Winnipeg when I was
trying to study the birds and squirrels were particularly noisy. I was annoyed
so I grabbed my blank gun and fired a few rounds out the window. Silence. Then
the chirping began again. (told you I had anger issues).
James writes that we should hesitate
to speak. Not that we should never speak, rather that we should slow down and
think about what to say, and not while someone is talking.
c) Be slow to
get angry
– This refers not to a general outburst of anger as much as to a deep-seated
wrath or rage. Anger like this is being nursed and stoked into a consuming fire
that controls us. We must not let anger control us especially when it provokes
quick retorts, nasty shots, or put-downs.
James does not say “don’t get
angry,” he says control your anger. Some injustices and wrongs in the world
require an angry reaction. That shows that we care. But to let anger rule our
lips is the problem James addresses.
Now
as a general code of ethics for the mouth, this is good advice. There is more
to this mantra than meets the eye. Left alone Dale Carnegie could have easily
slipped it into his book on how to win friends and influence people. James is
not that simple. There is a spiritually motivated, Christ-centered basis for
this code, which we will now unpack.
2.
Let the Word Govern Your Speaking
a) Anger
produces nothing good
– Beginning at the end, James continues with the theme of anger before
returning to the other two parts of the code.
He writes, “…anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires,”
(1:20). Anger produces nothing good. Angry outbursts leave a wake of hurting
and confused people. I am ashamed to say I know this too well.
There is a saying, “Hurting people
hurt people.” The chain reaction of anger causes those who are hurt to go and hurt
the next person. It is “pay it forward” in the worst way.
When we talk about showing people
our faith, anger is not a very good witness of that faith. It is not the
righteousness that God desires to see in us. Nor is he able to show his glory
to the world through our anger.
What James commands as an
alternative to anger is a purge. “Therefore,
get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept
the word planted in you which can save you,” (1:21). There is an exchange
described in these words. To get rid of moral filth carries the image of us
coming in from outdoors with our clothes covered in filth, soiled by the grime
of the world. We are to take them off, put off the filthy clothing and put on
the new. Paul says something like this in Ephesians 4:17-24.
What James and Paul are getting at
is that most anger comes from distorted priorities. We are caught up in the
values of the world and want what we should not want and are angry that we
don’t get it.
If you want to trace anger to its
source, use AHEN. This is not a chicken. It’s an acrostic. When you see the
Anger (A), it is usually covering the Hurt (H). If you peek under the Hurt,
you’ll see you had an Expectation (E). And if you look under the Expectation,
you’ll find the Need (N).
Evaluate the need. Do you really
have a need in this area? Why is this need causing such frustration?
James calls us to humility, to
accept the word of God that is planted in us. The Word is innate in us who
believe. It is planted there by God and is activated by our acceptance of it.
The Word of God has taken up residence in us and is the source of our new
priorities. It reminds us of what is truly important.
Douglas Moo says of this verse,
“What James is suggesting by describing the Word in this way is that the
Christian must not think he is done with the Word of God after it has saved
him. That Word becomes a permanent, inseparable part of the Christian, a
commanding and guiding presence for life… Christians who have been ‘born again’
demonstrate that the Word has transformed them by their humble acceptance of
that Word as their authority and guide for life.”[i]
This is the exchange: the new
priorities of the Word of God for the angry and frustrating priorities of the
world.
b) Listen to the
Word and do it –
We go back to the beginning of the code now to talk about listening. But the
listening is not just conversational ethics. James goes deeper with an emphasis
on listening to the Word.
“Do
not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says,”
(1:22). There is a great concern for deception in this letter. In verse 16,
James wrote, “Don’t be deceived….” concerning the gifts of God; later in v. 26
he will mention deception again. It seems we are easily deceived.
What is the deception in this
context? Thinking that listening to the word is enough to grow your faith. No
one had a nice leather-bound Bible in the Early Church, so they listened to
someone read if from a scroll. But listening was not enough.
James tells us that we deceive
ourselves when we mistake the part for the whole. It is only a part of our
devotion to God to hear the Word of God and receive it. We cannot be satisfied
with that part alone. Some will say, “I spent 50 minutes this morning reading
the Bible and can remember what I read. It was a super, awesome quiet time.”
And James would say, “Well done! Now are you obeying what you read? Are your
lips reflecting what your eyes have read? Are your relationships different, as
the Word has instructed you they should be?” We must be doers of the Word. That
is the other part.
Jesus’ words come to mind regarding
two builders, “Therefore everyone who
hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who
built his house on the rock,” versus, “everyone
who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a
foolish man who built his house on sand,” (Mt. 7:24-27).
Foolish is what James would call the
person who looks at their face in a mirror and forgets what they look like.
This is his comparison of the person who reads the Word of God or hears a
sermon on Scripture, hears a command, and does not do it. If you see in the
mirror that your mascara is running from your eyes and making black streaks
down your cheeks, but do nothing, go out shopping or something, isn’t that
dumb? Then why, James asks, would we see ourselves in the Word, get convicted
that something in our life is out of whack spiritually, and then do nothing?
“But
whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues
in it – not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it – they will be
blessed in what they do,” (1:25).
Mirrors in the first century were
made of polished bronze or copper, and they produced a dim reflection. A glance
at one of these would give a general impression, but nothing specific. You
would have to consider closely what you saw, really get in there, and see
yourself. The expression James uses is “stoop down and look into closely.”
The Word of God is our mirror. We
have to stoop down and spend some time looking into the Word. Then when we have
seen ourselves according to this standard, we have to change something. We have
to…it is inevitable. It has to change us, or we are ignoring what we saw.
c) Get a grasp
of your tongue
– It has to change the way we speak. This is why we are to be slow in our
speaking, hesitant to talk.
A guy came to his pastor and said,
“Pastor, I only have one talent.”
The pastor asked, “What’s your
talent?”
The man said, “I have the gift of
criticism.”
The pastor wisely replied, “The
Bible says that the guy who had only one talent went out and buried it. Maybe
that’s what you ought to do with yours.”
“Those
who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their
tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless,” (1:26).
There is that word “deception.”
Think of religion in the most positive light (we will talk more about religion
in two weeks). Think of religion as devotion. Anyone who thinks they are
devoted to Christ and yet says whatever comes to their minds is deceived. They
are deceived because they think that grace allows them, or their intellect
allows them, or their education allows them to spout off and even belittle
people. Maybe they have in their own estimation a deep spirituality. But true
spirituality is seen in this: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to
become angry.
If we ponder the Word of God as it
has been planted deep in our hearts by the Holy Spirit and do what it says, we
will grab our tongues and watch what we say. We will speak love, peace, joy,
patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Show
me your faith
A
fellow named Joe went to church with Billy and Ruth Graham in Montreat when he
was visiting them. There was a little Presbyterian church the Grahams went to
regularly pastured by Calvin Thielman. One day after church as he drove home
with the Grahams, Joe said, “Man, I almost went to sleep in church today. That
was a boring sermon.” To which Billy replied, “Why Joe, I thought it was a
wonderful sermon. I got a lot out of it.”
Joe felt an inner rebuke by Billy’s
comment. When he asked Ruth about it, she told him to listen more carefully and
take notes. So he did. Joe took careful notes, noting the outline,
cross-references and so on. For Joe it made a huge difference in how he heard
the Word.
Not everyone is wired to take notes.
It helps but it is not the only way to listen.
If we are going to show our
neighbors and friends the faith that we profess, however, we need to do what
the Word says.
1. Listen to the Word of God
intently. In the same way we want to learn to listen to people we are talking
to, listen intently to what God is saying in his Word.
2. Read God’s Word. As we make this
a regular devotion it will counteract the messages we hear in the media (TV,
newspapers, facebook, etc).
3. Slow down, take time to listen,
and pray for understanding. Maybe we need to pray like Samuel did, “Speak Lord,
for your servant is listening.”
4. Be slow to speak. Give others a
chance to speak into your life.
May God teach us to speak wisely to
a world that hears how Christians talk. And may they hear the voice of Jesus in
our conversation.
AMEN
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