THE PRODIGAL
FATHER
We have all heard many sermons on this classic parable.
The Parable of the Prodigal Son is one of the most well-known along with the
Good Samaritan. Jesus’ purpose in telling this story was to teach the
self-righteous Pharisees to show mercy to sinners who repent.
What I
would like to do this morning is to take this parable and focus primarily on
the father. In conjunction with Father’s Day, I want to both honor and
encourage fathers to love your children like the father in the parable.
I am
honestly impressed by the young fathers I see these days. Many of them dote on
their toddlers, are involved in feeding and caring for them, and take an active
role in parenting. It puts to me to shame.
However,
it is when the toddlers grow up that they begin to challenge that love and
care. After you have done everything to provide a loving, nurturing,
faith-based home that teaches the life of Jesus, some children still rebel.
Maybe not in dramatic ways; maybe in poor decision-making; maybe by rejecting
our faith. These are the moments that challenge our love for our children.
Fathers
and mothers, how are we to respond toward children who rebel? We know the human
tendency is to shut them out. Our world believes in swift justice and allowing
individuals to suffer the consequences of their actions. [On our holidays a few weeks ago, Sharon and I saw a young mother
threaten to kill her ten-year-old son in the parking lot of a restaurant for
ruining her birthday supper. He seemed to suffer from ADHD.] But is this
how God loves us?
We see a
different reaction in this parable. Fathers, we can learn how to love our rebellious children from the example of
the father in Jesus’ parable. This father teaches us how to demonstrate
God’s love and forgiveness to our children.
What
does the parable teach us about loving fathers?
1. A loving father does not nurse the pain
You know the story of the prodigal son, but let’s look at
the father’s perspective.
The man
in the parable had two sons. The younger one has had enough of the household
rules and being bossed by his father and brother. He wants to be free. So he
says to his father, “Father, give me the
share of property that is coming to me.”
Jesus’
listeners would already be in shock at this point. A son does not ask for his
inheritance when the father is still alive. The premise of this story in the
Middle East is one of honor and shame. What the son does is shameful. It is
also painful for the father in many ways.
First,
there is the pain of personal rejection. With the son asking for his
inheritance he is basically saying to his father, “I wish you were dead.”
The son
also rejects his heritage. Inheritance is usually family land passed down from
generation to generation; it’s supposed to stay in the family. When the son sells
the land for cash he cuts ties with this ancestral home and heritage of faith.
But not only does he cause his father pain, the community that makes up the
estate also feel this pain. For the network of families that are part of this
community feels the dishonor of the son’s actions.
The
father’s pain is further felt in the rejection of his values. We see this in
the reckless manner in which the son spends his money. He cares nothing for the
hard work that went into his fortune.
The
father feels the pain of humiliation because the event does not happen in
secret. When the son sells the property, everyone knows about it. While the son
is partying, the father has to bear the passive aggressive comments of the
community who question his parenting skills. If only he had been more strict.
He should have sent the son packing without any money or goods and told him to
never return.
But have
you noticed how our heavenly Father operates? He gives good gifts to all his
children, even those who don’t acknowledge him. It’s amazing. Matthew 5:45b
says, “For he makes his sun to rise on
the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust.” Bill
Gates probably thinks that he earned his billions, but God gave him the gift of
innovation and the gift of wealth. Some have the gift of power and authority,
but have no idea that God gifted these to them. Some have the gift of
engineering but do not acknowledge the Engineer of the universe. No matter. God
gives good gifts to his children. God is gracious to all.
Our
Heavenly Father does not hold a grudge like we do. He even blesses the rebel.
So too does the father in the parable; he blesses his son even though he has
every right to nurse his pain and reject the son.
2. A loving father is a merciful father
After a time of reckless living, the son is broke and
starving. He devises a plan of action. He will go home to his father and say “Father, I have sinned against heaven and
before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of
your hired servants,” (18-19).
Please
note that this is not repentance. In his hunger he realizes that the shame he
has brought on his father is immense. Maybe, he thinks, I can pay my debt by
working as a servant.
Now note
the father’s reaction:
First,
his father “saw him.” We get the sense that the father was on the balcony or
rooftop of his house every day looking down the road to see if his son is
coming. On the one hand, he knows that his son will fail. That’s guaranteed. On
the other hand, he expects his son to show up one day.
It is
actually critical that he sees his son before the community does because they
will not be merciful. There is a ceremony of cutting off called the kezazah in
ancient Israel. When a boy shames his family the community holds a kezazah. If
the boy returns without the money he took from his father, the community might
kill him. So the father watches the road.
So
secondly, when the father saw him he “felt compassion.” Not wrath or malice,
but mercy and tenderness. He sees his boy in rags, his bloodied feet, and dirty
appearance and feels nothing but deep care for his son. The father didn’t
harden his heart; he could have to protect himself. He could have said, “I
could care less,” but instead said, “I couldn’t care more.” The father does not
even take a whiff of the “piggy” smell and say, “Go clean yourself up before
coming to me.”
No, the
third thing we note is that the father “ran.” The father takes his long robes
in his hand and runs down the crowded street to welcome his pig-herder son. As
he does so, he humiliates himself – gentlemen of a certain age and station do
not run – he assumes the role of a servant and runs. The father runs knowing
that in doing so he will deflect the attention of the community away from his
son. He bares his legs, also inappropriate, and draws their focus.
Finally,
the father “embraced him and kissed him.” The son hasn’t said anything yet. He
doesn’t even know if the boy is repentant. The father is simply overjoyed to
see his son. Can you imagine doing that? Just delighting in your children even
when they are not repentant? This father gushes out over his son, kisses his
dirty neck (give your skin a lick and then add pig poop and travel dirt), and
wraps him in his arms.
Can you
say “overwhelmed by grace”? The son is shocked by this outpouring of love.
3. A loving father is a prodigal father
Do you know what the term “prodigal” means? I once
assumed it meant “lost” or “rebellious.” To be prodigal means to spend money or
resources freely, recklessly, extravagantly, or even wastefully. It can mean
“to give lavishly.”
And not
only is the son prodigal, we see that the father is prodigal in relation to his
son. Note that the father does not demonstrate costly love in response to his
son’s confession. Rather, his offer of grace is a prelude to the son’s remarks.
But the boy is overcome and he
does not recite his whole speech. He only squeaks out the first part, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and
before you, I am no longer worthy to be called your son,” (21). The father
does not cut him off; the son realizes that his father has gone beyond
expectation and that he really is unworthy to be called his son. Now he repents
of his plan to save himself and lets the father find him.
This prodigal father goes on to
display extravagant love to his son in two ways: One, he restores the wayward
son by clothing him in the best robe. This visible symbol expresses the
father’s restoration of his son to the community. The son wears his dad’s
colors and everyone can see his status as son. He is also given a ring, the
authority of the father, almost like a credit card or key to certain circles. And
he gives his son shoes for his feet. From top to bottom the son is restored to
sonship in a costly display of extravagant love.
Two, the father celebrates the
return of his son with a feast of the fattened calf. This is a recurring theme
in the three parables of chapter 15. When the shepherd finds the lost sheep, he
calls his friends and neighbors to rejoice with him (6). When the woman finds
her lost coin, she calls together her friends and neighbors to rejoice with her
(9). So too with the father, he calls for a feast that involves the whole
community to celebrate.
Then he utters a very
interesting summary: “For this, my son
was dead, and is alive again; he was lost and is found,” (24). The tone of
these words speaks to resurrection. The son was dead in his sin and, in
reality, could not come back to the father on his own merit. He was dead – and
dead people can’t save themselves. The son was lost, just like the sheep was
lost and the coin was lost. So the prodigal father did more than clothe his
son, he gave him his life back. And the son responded to that love by letting
the father love him.
That is the kind of father
(parent) we want to be to our children. We want to be prodigal fathers, don’t
we? We want our children to know that they can always come home again no matter
what decisions they make. Yes, there is a place for discipline and corrective
behavior (i.e. discipleship), but we’re talking about a father’s love today.
And who is the father in Jesus’
story? Anyone take a guess? (It’s Jesus – He is the shepherd; He is the woman
searching for the coin; He is the father looking for his son. The context
proves this in the beginning when the Pharisees say, “This man receives sinners
and eats with them.” And Jesus explains why with these three stories). Let us
love our children, dear fathers, like Jesus loves us.
I want to close with a story of
extravagant fatherly love:
The late Joe Bayly was a gentle,
godly Christian leader. He once told how one of his sons rebelled back in the
days of the hippie movement, back in the 60s or 70s. He grew his hair long and
moved into a communal flophouse. Late one night, Bayly received a call
informing him that his son was being held at one of the Chicago police
stations. He got out of bed, got dressed and went down to the station, but they
had no record of his son being there. He made the rounds to several police
stations before he realized that the call had been a prank.
Even though it was about 2 a.m.,
before he went home Bayly went to the flophouse where his son was living. He
went in (the door was always unlocked), stepped over several sleeping bodies
strewn on the floor, and found his son asleep on his bed. He gently bent over
and kissed his son on the cheek before he went home to bed.
When Bayly told the story, he
said that his son was now a pastor. Years later, the young man told his father,
“Dad, do you know what turned me around?” Bayly said, “No, son.” His son said,
“It was that night you came into my room and kissed me. You thought that I was
asleep, but I wasn’t. I thought, ‘If my dad loves me that much, I had better
get my life right with God.’”
Even if your children have hurt
you through their rebellion, you are to show them God’s abundant love and
mercy. Through your love, your children should be able to see that God “is
compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness”
(Psalm 103:8).
Happy Father’s Day
AMEN
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