Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Community #5


EXPERIENCING GOD’S LOVE IN COMMUNITY

 

A junior high science teacher was lecturing his students on the properties of magnets for an entire class. The next day he gave them a quiz. The first question read like this: “My name begins with ‘M,’ has six letters, and I pick things up. What am I?” Half the kids in the class wrote, “Mother.”

            That perception of “Mother” is reflected in the story of the father who was trying to explain the concept of marriage to his four-year-old daughter. Thinking that photos would help, he pulled out their wedding pictures and showed his little girl how a wedding service worked. When he finished, he asked her if she had any questions. She pointed to a picture of the wedding party and asked, “Daddy, is that when mommy came to work for us?”

            On this day that we honor our mothers, and in keeping with the ongoing theme of our series on community, it is fitting that we recognize that all of us first learn to love at home. While fathers play an important role in the family unit, many of us would gladly confess that we learn what love is from our mothers.

            Why does mom pick up after us? How come she is so willing to let her supper grow cold while making sure the rest of the family has what they need? Love, pure and simple.

            Ideally, the family unit is the primary classroom for experiencing love. Perhaps this is why in the Bible the church is called “the family of God.”

            I read an article recently that stated this point very well. It is this thought that will be our target this morning: We need to realize that it is primarily through body-life and worship that the love of God becomes deeply personal and comprehensible to us.

            This study target is best reinforced by the Prayer for the Ephesians found in Ephesians 3:14-21. Despite the influence of individualism in our society it is in community that we experience God’s love in a family way.

1. We bear God’s family name

 

We are the family of God. When you are part of a family you bear the family name.

            As Paul begins his prayer for the community of believers who live in Ephesus, he says, “For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name,” (3:14).

            What’s important about a family name? A family name tells people your origins, where you come from and who your ancestors were. A family name can also be a clue as to what kind of character you have. A family name can tell others where you belong.

            Let’s break this family image down even further:

a) We are the children of God – When we confess that Jesus is the Son of God and that his sacrifice is effective for us to be forgiven, and we accept that God is right and true and we are not, we become children of God.

            John describes this supremely, “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” (1 Jn 3:1). This is an amazing statement that we could just bask in all morning if we would allow ourselves. How great is this love that God should call us his children.

            That love is expressed in this truly mind-blowing truth: God did not just want us to be saved from sins, he didn’t just want us to be “OK” before him, he didn’t just want us to live sin-free lives and be happy – God wanted us to join his family. He arranged for our adoption. We were orphans without a father and a mother spiritually speaking. He freed us from the workhouse of sin making shirts for Wal-Mart in a third world country and not just for freedom’s sake but for family’s sake.

            Paul wrote earlier in his letter, “For he chose us in him (that is, Christ) before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his (children) through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will,” (1:4-5).

b) Now we have a Father – I suppose the image of “father” is tough for some people to swallow. Some had absentee fathers growing up, relationally distant fathers, strict fathers, or deadbeat fathers. It is hard to see this father-thing as good then.

            Francis Chan had a difficult father. But in his book Crazy Love he shares a revelation that revolutionizes how we see our Father God despite our earthly fathers – becoming a father. He said he loves his kids so much it hurts. As my own children have grown up before me I find my own love bursting for them as well. I am amazed at them; proud of them; blown away by how God is working in them. If that’s how I feel about them, imagine how our Father in heaven feels about us.

            We have a Father who loves us and calls us his own. “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children,” (Rom 8:15-16).

            I still have a hard time calling God “Daddy.” It seems irreverent. Yet this is what love and familiarity allows in our relationship with God.

c) We have One who is as a Mother to us – One of the criticisms from the Muslims about our religion is that we have a Father but no Mother, and therefore how can we have a Son?

            God is not male or female; He is Spirit. He chooses to reveal himself to us as our Father, and we should honor that. However, since God is the best of everything good we know in the world, he bears all the excellent qualities, including that of motherhood. He loves us like a Father; He also loves us like a Mother.

            Consider this imagery carefully. (Read Isaiah 49:13-16). The people of Israel felt forgotten and forsaken; they felt like God didn’t care anymore about what happened to them. How did God respond? Not with the Father image but the Mother image. Your mother would never forget you, not even when you are old and she is…older yet. And if she did forget you, God says he never would. Again in Isaiah 66:13, the LORD says, “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you…” The only way my mother would forget me is if she developed Alzheimer’s disease and slowly forgot everything. Like a mother whose heart is so attached to her child, God will never forget you.

 

2. We are rooted in God’s love

 

Paul continues his prayer on this basis – that we are the family of God. We have a Father in heaven that is the best of every parent. He loves us; he is proud of us; he yearns for us – sometimes to come home; he roots and cheers for us; he blesses us and disciplines us.

            “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love…” (3:17). There is a permanence in this love. It is rooted, deeply embedded in God’s heart. It is established, firmly grounded. In other words, it is not a fickle love that dissolves when we get mad at God, or when we disappoint him, or fail to understand his commands. HE KEEPS ON LOVING US. Forever!!

            A friend of mine said to me this week, “There is nothing you can do that will make me stop loving you.” That is really hard to believe. I guess I have trust issues. But the way my friend said this, I have no choice but to believe what he said. And I accept that love.

            “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins,” (1 Jn 4:10). “We love because he first loved us,” (1 Jn 4:19). That’s kind of hard to believe isn’t it? When friends have betrayed you? When you have been dumped in a relationship? How could anyone love broken down old me? God does. He loved you before anyone else did. He made you. He shaped you. He picked your nose (J).

            We think with our heads too much. We are afraid of where our feelings will lead us. I am not talking about superficial, fluffy feelings. I mean deep-seated feelings that have been wounded and scarred. We really need to feel God’s love and let that love drown you.       

            There is a story in the counseling tradition that is fitting. A fish went on a journey to find the ocean. He swam and swam looking for this great water. Whenever another fish would ask where he was going he would tell them of his great quest. Finally, a wise fish said to him, “You know you’re swimming in water, right?”

            God is right here. God’s love is all around us. All we have to do is STOP! And WAIT upon the Lord. Call out to Dad. I need to feel your love.

 

3. We need to grasp the enormity of God’s love

 

It is impossible to grasp the full extent of God’s love. Still, we need to try and fathom what Paul is saying in his prayer.

            “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ…” (3:17-18).

            We need help visualizing this so that we can activate our minds to think about God’s love and greatness. Francis Chan again, in his book Crazy Love, refers to a video we are going to watch now.


            Can you wrap your head around how small we are and how awesome and big God is? Buried in the immense universe is our little planet, and our little selves. God, who holds the universe in the palm of his hand, has chosen to love you and me with the measureless love of his heart. His love exceeds the expanses of the universe.

            The essence of God’s love is, first of all, that he is love, and secondly, that he desires to have you and me in his family.

 

4. We need God’s all-satisfying love

 

What does this have to do with community? God has designed us to experience his love in the midst of community over and above what we can experience on our own. That means that the best way to know God’s love is right here in this church today.

            God chooses to express his perfect love through our dysfunctional and imperfect relationships. It’s like a challenge to God and to us. God audaciously defies human nature and believes we can love each other, even though we are sensitive, easily wounded, offensive and selfish human beings. Our challenge is to let him.

            If we attempt to do this in our own power we will find that we are empty vessels. We will soon discover that our pitcher is dry; I cannot fill you up and give you what you need if I am empty myself.

            That’s why when we come to worship here and look for a little encouragement, a little pick-me-up, sometimes all we find is bickering, criticism and fighting. We have nothing else to give each other.

            Paul prayed that we would, “know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled up to the measure of all the fullness of God,” (3:19).

            Note two very important things here: 1) Paul prayed. We need to pray to God for what we lack; and 2) God does the filling. Our heavenly Father is waiting to pour out his love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5).

            David Benner in his book Surrender to Love writes that the single most important thing he has learned in over thirty years of study of how love produces healing is that love is transformational only when it is received in vulnerability.[i] He says that it is not the fact of being loved unconditionally that is life-changing. Rather it is the risky experience of allowing myself to be loved unconditionally.

            “It is only when I accept who I am that I dare to show you that self in all its vulnerability and nakedness. Only then do I have the opportunity to receive your love in a manner that makes a genuine difference,” Benner says.[ii]

 

            As a church we long to be transformed into a community of love. To be transformed we must meet God in the vulnerability of our sin and shame instead of pretending that we are perfect already or that we are improving ourselves somehow. As we embrace the presence of God’s love we begin to realize that our sin is truly forgiven and our shame melts away.

            How do we experience God’s love in community? Human love communicates divine love. Think of how you feel about your own children. Remember how your mothers loved you. Or perhaps your fathers were exemplary in their compassion and grace. Only God can love you like God can love you. But experiences of human love bring us into an indirect encounter with divine love. They help to make God’s love believable. Hints of unconditional love from humans make the possibility of absolutely unconditional divine love imaginable.

            So here is the challenge: As my friend showed me unconditional love the other day, so must we in this place show unconditional love to those who are in reality our brothers and sisters. Grace. Mercy. Love. Compassion.

            “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God,” (Eph 5:1-2).

           

                                                                        AMEN



[i] David Benner, Surrender to Love, p. 76.
[ii] Benner, p. 76.

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